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Kiss Tips

Here is a brief note on the type of kisses and how one should (or should not) execute it. Read it for the sheer fun and humor of it, share it with your friends, and copy the text and include it with your greeting cards. Overall, if you start reading the small note, you will not leave it until you finish it.

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bullet Peaches: When you say the word peaches, your lips come together for less than a second. Imagine saying this when you kiss - it happens very quickly.

bullet Prunes: Described as such because the movement of the lips during this kiss roughly approximates that caused by uttering the word prunes. It's Longer than a peaches kiss.

bullet Alfalfa: Hold your tongue with your fingers and try to say alfalfa - you can't do it. Nor can you perform the alfalfa kiss without using the tongue.

bullet Glass: This kiss is most commonly used when you are separated by a pane of glass. Oftentimes you are in a hurry and can't roll down the car window, or the sliding door is shut and you don't want to let the cold air in the house. If you are participating in a glass kiss and the other person pulls away to see your pressed lips, blow air into the window and make your checks swell.

bullet Underwater : Remember wondering what it would be like to kiss underwater? Then you convinced your neighbor to try it with you in the pool, you found out it was no big deal: you can't feel their lips very well, the chlorine hurts your eyes, and you swallow water on your way to the surface. It may be more interesting if you fill the pool with Jell-O.

bullet Noisy: A kiss that makes noise is not unusual, it's just noisy - which means at times can be considered rude.

bullet Thrown: Not too common anymore. Seen mostly in parades and silent movies. Can be traumatic if you don't warm up your arm.

bullet Blown: Similar to the thrown kiss, but used at close range or when a thrown kiss might be intercepted.

bullet Hand: This kiss is another member of the thrown-kiss fairly. The only difference is that after the kiss is placed in the hand, it is personally delivered and applied to the other person's face. Although more accurate than either the thrown or blown kiss, it can be hazardous if delivered with a slap.

bullet Dark: Kissing in the dark is a problem for those with bad sense of direction - they end up kissing the ear. One way to alleviate this problem is to locate your date's nose, grip it tightly to use as a reference point, and kiss below the hand.

bullet Grandma Bunny: These are the types kisses you get from older relatives. "Bunny" refers to the soft white hair grandmothers have above their lips, which they often moisten before kissing.
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